Writings & Publications

Reflections

Ten biblical guidelines for developing a loving, healthy marriage

1. Think commitment for life – do not even entertain the thought of finding a way out of a difficult marriage relationship – remember marriage is founded upon a covenant to be faithful for life
2. Work hard in helping each another to obey your God-given roles – show mutual love, respect  and submission for one another (see Ephesians 5:22-28,33; Colossians 3:18-19)
3. Be humble – keep repenting daily of self-centredness and pride – these sins in any form will serious harm, even destroy, a healthy and mutually satisfying marriage
4. Genuinely esteem your partner in your heart, and also through your words
5. Guard against holding on to negative thoughts and ideas about your husband or wife – train yourself to see the positive and to think positive thoughts (Philippians 4:8), expressing thanks to God for your partner
6. Communicate your struggles as well as your desires and needs openly and honestly to one another – listen sincerely to your partner’s concerns rather than just wanting your own concerns to be heard and considered
7. Confess your sins and failings to one another, seeking forgiveness and reconciliation; and forgive freely, holding no grudges (Colossians 3:12-14), never allowing a root of bitterness to grow up and spread its poison in your relationship (Hebrews 12:15)
8. Be romantic, as well as sexual – be disciplined and creative in your sexual intimacy
9. Help one another with home duties and if possible, also with some work tasks – aim to become caring and loving partners in your various tasks, activities and hobbies
10. Pray together daily, and also find ways to encourage one another to keep growing in maturity in your relationship with Christ – the closer you both grow in your relationship with Jesus, the closer and more fulfilled you will be in your relationship with one another

Graham & Frieda Roberts
October 15, 2005

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